I’m a Christian who made the decision to follow Jesus when I was 29. My conversion was no great epiphany, just a gradual acceptance of who Jesus was (God) and that He wanted me personally. Although the journey was gradual, it wasn’t easy because I struggled with a large emotional obstacle. I was abused as a child.
I went through many years of counseling and my counselors all said the same thing—forgive the person who hurt you. But I found I couldn’t do it. Even more than that, I didn’t want to. In my two clenched fists, I wanted to hold on to the bitterness, the hate, and the frustration I felt over a life that should have been different.
The side effects from the abuse lasted for years. Panic attacks, insecurity and fear, especially fear of trusting anyone. And although I wanted these things to go away, I never really thought they would. So I plodded along, in pain and confusion, until the blessed day I realized I could let it all go.
When I accepted Jesus as the ultimate judge of all of us, I gave up my need to control everything, including the fate of my abuser. In giving Jesus the responsibility for justice, I was free to deal with the aftermath of the abuse. Jesus helped me to finally clear out the pain.
The year I accepted Jesus, I had a job as a Research Geologist at the Iowa Geological Survey. I believed in evolution and continued to do so for many years after I became a Christian. Then, my husband and I attended a class at church that delved into the evidence for creation (the belief that God created the earth in six days, usually coupled with the belief the earth is quite a lot younger than 4 billion years).
I was amazed at the lines of evidence pointing to a special creation of the earth in the recent past. As I critically examined the evidence for both evolution and creation, I saw the evidence could point to either theory, depending on your starting point (the assumptions you make about the past). That left me with a choice. Would I believe a man-made theory or what God says in the Bible?
My answer was God.
For the record, I believe you can be a saved Christian and also believe in evolution. That was me for five years, so I’ve experienced the reality that Jesus is enough. My purpose in telling you my story is not to turn you into a creationist. My purpose is to ask you to consider science from a godly perspective. And to that end, I will hold the Bible as the highest authority on truth. Even if you don’t agree, I invite you to join me here as I attempt to honor both science and storytelling with eyes that seek the face of our creator.